What ladies look for in a partner
Admit it, we’re all shallow bitches
Note: I can only vouch for the ladies because this is my situation and the situation of all(if not most) of my female friends that I’ve talked to; though I would think its the same with men too?
Ask a girl(or guy perhaps) “what do they look for in a partner” and you’ll most likely get the answer:
“Someone who is NICE”
Sure that is indeed important; but If that is all to it, then why are all the nice guys “finishing last”?
Now, first let us define the term NICE. According to Merriam Webster dictionary, it means polite, kind, agreeable- the definition that our unconscious mind relates to.
But it also could be define as:
“Exacting in requirements or standards, pleasing”
There is a saying that goes: “You can’t please everyone.” Trite, but true. You are not a cupcake; heck, some people don’t even LIKE cupcakes. I mean, to a certain extent some things like symmetry is “pleasant” universally; but most of the time, it’s subjective.
So ladies, If you’ve wondered why you don’t like(in a romantic way) that “traditionally nice” guy friend of yours- the one you have “friend-zoned”……
Does this sound familiar: “Yea he is nice, but… he’s just not my type.”
It’s because he hasn’t met your “standards”; the ones you have that you are afraid to admit because it might make you sound superficial.
A guy with tanned skin. A guy with short and dark hair but not bald. Thick eyebrows but no uni-brows. A guy who is taller than 5"5 but not taller than 6"5. — that’s only the physical aspect.
Then we look at the character and personality traits. A guy who is ambitious and confident. A guy who is well- travelled. A guy who works out to stay fit. A guy who has similar interest as you do……
Note: These standard differ among people, I’m just giving some examples here…(possibly my own lol)
Gosh, so much expectations! Sad, but true.
Nope, there is nothing wrong with you.
Think of it this way: If we don’t set standards, wouldn’t all the kind, polite guys be perfect for us? How should we then, choose the one that we want to spend our lives with together, forever? (Unless you’re down for a polygamous relationship…which I might have contemplated myself but let’s leave that topic aside for now)
Remember: There is no “right” or “wrong”, “good” or “bad”; just…different.
Standards are there to set boundaries. Standards are somewhat a reflection of your values. (e.g. If I want someone who exercises and eats well- its because I value health; and I don’t want my future husband to die way earlier than me from a chronic disease-unless he’s rich…lol JK).
Overall, it exists so that you don’t waste time on trivial relationships that does not benefit you in the long run. Sure, you can try it out and see where that goes, but there is another cliche saying that I’m gonna throw it out to you again: “Live today as if you’re gonna die tomorrow”- I hope you don’t need me to explain that.
In conclusion, having the right relationships (along with meaningful work- I’ll leave that as another topic too) is the ultimate equation to living your happiest and fullest life.
So essentially, we’re all shallow and picky bitches; probably one of the reasons why we’re still single(for those that are).
But that’s ok.
Because the right guy for us is out there- the ultimate NICE guy that gives us the butterflies; and one day we will find him, some place, some time.
In the mean time, continue being nice to others, but also work on being a little NICER, to yourself- taking care of your health- physically and mentally(even though you can be an asshole at times); so that when the ultimate Mr. Nice guy comes your way, you’ll be nice enough- to give this opportunity a chance=)
And not to forget, to all the “nice” guys out there, it’s not your fault you don’t get the girl; it will one day happen for you too, just- not yet. So instead of thinking “Maybe i should stop being so NICE and start acting more like a d*** (a big NO-NO btw)”, the above advice applies for you too.
Stay true to yourself, but never stop seeking to be a little nicer everyday.
Wishing you all the best to your relationships,
Tien Cin