What are some of your favorite compliments you’ve received from others?
How simple questions can lead to insightful answers about yourself
Don’t worry guys, this is gonna be a short one;)
Compliments I’ve received that makes me smile and genuinely happy:
Smart, Mature, Interesting/funny
Why those traits in particular?
I think it’s because I know these are things I’ve been trying to work on to be since my younger days, and to be acknowledged for that feels good.
Why did I want to work on those traits?
I chose to work on these because pretty people usually don't have these traits, so at least if I’m not pretty I can still be all these things and still be of value to others.
I no longer have to judge my worth based on my appearance, And when I see myself as worthy I think the same of what others see me as well.
Compliments that I’m uncomfortable with:
Cute, pretty
I get conflicted when people call me pretty because I was averse to people that were associated with that word in the first place.
Not aversion because of something they did to me but self-derived aversion stemmed from jealousy in my childhood.
How it reminds me of how I was never ‘as pretty’ as my sister or my best friend.
That’s why I’m not successful. That’s why I’m not well liked. That’s why I’m only a burden to others and to this world. That’s why I’m gonna be single for life and nobody is gonna be bothered whether I exist or not.
All these self-delusional thoughts that still traumatized me from time to time. And moments when I don’t get enough sleep or If I’ve had a bad day, these thoughts will take over my emotions and feelings and eventually my behavior towards others, especially when I’m having a ‘bad’ day. I will get triggered easily and It's much harder for me to slow down and think rationally.
See why I value my sleep so much?
I’ll be less of a bitch to people around me and I’ll feel better about myself as well because I’m being the person that I want to be.
Journal Entry #384
Signing out,
Tien