The importance of ‘Asteya’- Nonstealing
And HOW to cultivate it in our everyday life
‘Asteya’- Nonstealing
Not taking from others and accepting only what is earned or freely given
If we are living in fear and lies, our dissatisfaction with ourselves and our lives leads us to look outward, with a tendency to steal what is rightfully not ours.
Stealing from others:
An outward focus leads us to compare ourselves to others and to send our energy into their lives in unhealthy ways.
When we compare ourselves to others, it’s a form of insecurity in which we will either feel a sense of lacking or a sense of superiority.
And when we’re unhappy with ourselves and our lives, we have a tendency to manipulate and control others, drag others down with us or make snide comments that come from jealousy- all to boost our own sagging ego and to feel better about ourselves.
We find ways to make the situation about us, not about the other.
We are stealing from others too when we are not paying attention to them or discounting them.
E.g. when we interrupt someone during a conversation, we are actually stealing their right to be heard. Whatever words have or haven’t come out of our mouth, the intent has been to serve ourselves, not the other. If we really care about someone, we would find supportive and loving ways to express it.
“Rather, be a forklift; you should always be lifting people up.”- Yogi Bhajan
Does the other person feel uplifted after your encounter with them? How can you brighten someone’s day today?
It can be as easy as providing a genuine smile, complimenting sincerely and listening actively.
Stealing from the Earth:
We are visitors to this land, to our bodies, to our minds. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
To fully appreciate this reality, we have to accept that nothing is really ours, nor can it belong to us.
However, the ownership of things ingrained in our language and culture makes it hard for us to accept this reality. We use the term “I”, “My”, “Mine” with almost everything, reinforcing ownership; making us possessive and get ourselves attached to things, influencing our emotions and the way we treat others and the world.
Rather, our possessions are actually just being ‘loaned’ to us. And for the time that it is on loan to us, we are asked to care for it and share the resources with others that need it as well.
“ The bounty of the Earth is for the community, not the individual.”- Walter Brueggemann
Is there anything of ‘yours’ that could be used for the good of the community? How are you treating the world today?
As debtors to life, we are responsible to repay it with love and kindness; as visitors of this world, we are to treat nature with respect and compassion.
Stealing from the Future:
When we steal from the Earth, we’re also stealing from our children and all future generations.
Every decision that we make and everything that we do affect not only our future but the lives of those who will come after us.
However, the excess in our bodies, our calendars, our closets are all signs that we are living as if there is no tomorrow and no one to live here after we’re gone.
We have lost our sense of gratitude. We constantly seek to consume more than we give. We do things for instant gratification, neglecting the long-term impact of our actions. Our focus seems to be on what we don’t have or what we might not have in the future, rather than on the abundance right before us that has been provided by our ancestors.
When we think about how our ancestor's actions (good and bad) had brought us into being who we are today and what we have today, we reframe the sacredness of our own lives and the lives that will come after us.
How can you be a better caretaker for our future generations? What is the legacy you want to leave behind?
Stealing from Ourselves:
All self-sabotage, lack of belief in ourselves, low self-esteem, judgment, criticism, demands for perfection are forms of self-abuse in which we destroy the very essence of our vitality.
When we set restrictions, expectations, and assumptions for ourselves, we are stealing from our own opportunity to grow ourselves into the person who has a right to have the life they want; a person who has the right to be their own unique individual.
We need to silence the voices in our heads.The voices that are constantly evaluating what’s good and what isn’t; evaluating our past experiences, potential future outcomes, what people think of us, etc.; the voices that say false things about ourselves, about others, and about our circumstances.
Most of all, when we are constantly living in the past or in the future, we steal from ourselves.
Have you ever had the experience where you felt that time just fly by so quickly and you could no longer remember any experiences of where you’ve had been or what you’ve had done for that duration of time?
Essentially when we’re not leaving time to digest and assimilate our life experiences from time to time, we’re gonna realized one day that we have stolen parts of our own lives away when those memories are gone and you can no longer have it as a part of you.
We need time to rest, to reflect, to contemplate; in order to allow all experiences of our lives to integrate within us, and to be able to see how it has defined who we are today.
Shifting our focus:
From the other to ourselves.
Get excited with the possibilities of OUR own life.
Attend to OUR own growth and learning of interest.
When we are engaged in the joy and challenge of building our talents and skills, we automatically serve the world rather than steal from it.
When we don’t know what we want, or we don’t have the courage to pursue it, everything that everyone else is doing looks tempting to us. We begin to lust other accomplishments and other possessions. We get side-tracked from our own dreams and our own realness.
However, when we focused on our own dreams, we can move forward with dignity undisturbed by distractions. We can build the competency and create the circumstances within us to have what we want.
We will then begin to understand that it is not the accumulation of things that ultimately gives us satisfaction but the accumulation of values and competency.
When stealing unleashes pain and suffering on our self and others, building competency opens up a world of joy and possibility. It turns our attention away from stealing and towards the lifelong task of shaping ourselves into someone of value.
“The value of a man resides in what he gives and not what he is capable of receiving.” — Albert Einstein
Shift the way we think about giving and receiving.
The act of giving alone contains within it the priceless gift of making another feel loved. The value of a gift lies in the act of giving itself. Being generous with others without expecting anything in return nurtures our heart-mind and promotes loving kindness.
However, it is important to maintain the energetic balance between giving and receiving. Giving too much and not receiving (or vice versa) can foster resentment in an individual. Understand that receiving is giving as well. By receiving we are honoring the giver’s wish and intention.
Allow yourself to participate in the continuous flow of the universe.
Give, and allow yourself to receive.
A snippet of my own life:
Stealing from others:
I have been guilty of……
- Stealing other people’s time when I don’t arrive on time as promised.
- Stealing other people’s investment when I don’t do my best to deliver the service that they are looking for with the agreed energy exchange.
- Half-ass listening when the conversation of a topic is not within my realm of interest.
- Imposing my own opinion when I feel a sense of superiority of knowledge in regards to a certain topic.
Stealing from the Earth:
I have been guilty of……
- Overconsumption of material goods and natural resources (food, electricity, water, etc.)
Stealing from the future:
- Relate to the above point.
Stealing from myself:
My greatest guilt of all……
- I didn’t believe in myself and my ability to build competency.
- I was afraid to say what I want because I don’t think I could achieve it or people will make fun of me.
- I often get distracted; my mind scattered and as If I’ve lost my sense of direction in life.
And the worst struggle is, I am conflicted to as to whether to put these in past tense because I’m only flawed and I don’t think I can ever be a perfect non-stealing saint.
Even though I’m greatly aware of my flaws and my irrationality; sometimes, I still give in and fall into the trap of stealing. But the most important thing, is that we always try to be mindful and to do better each time.
Takeaways:
Not coveting or envying what others have brings gratitude and prosperity.
Nonstealing implies more than not taking what is ours. It’s what imprint or impression you’re leaving behind as well.
Questions to reflect upon:
- Give an example when you stole:
- From others
- From yourself
- From the Earth
- From the future
What prompted the stealing? What are some ways you can avoid doing the same in the future?
2. Think about your dreams and goals, what are some things you can do to build your competency and bring you closer to your goals without yielding to the act of stealing?
2. Are you more of a giver or a taker? If you are more of one than the other, what are some things you can do to strike a better balance between the two?
E.g. keep a ‘Quid Pro Quo’ log for 30 days. Keep track of how much you “give” versus how much you “get.” Aim to increase the former.
3. Think of someone who gives a lot to you or your community. What do you feel about this person and what are some ways you can show your appreciation?
Thanks for reading and hope it was helpful!
Related post: The importance of ‘Ahimsa’- Nonviolence and Compassion, ‘Satya’- Truthfulness
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Check me out on Instagram: @thesunyogii and come join me for a free yoga session + discussion at the park (sorry, only in Kuala Lumpur for now! Message me for more details.)