The importance of ‘Aparigraha’- Non-possessiveness

And HOW to cultivate it in our everyday life

‘Aparigraha’- Non-possessiveness

Being able to let go.

To let go and to pack lightly for our journey through life, all the while caring deeply and enjoying fully.

Non-attachment:

To risk experiencing the feeling of discomfort and vulnerability in moments of uncertainty.

When we experience wonderful moments in life, we’ll do what it takes to get the same satisfaction over and over again. We become afraid of change and our attempts to hold on makes us stale and discontented. Attachments keep us blinded to the smorgasbord of new opportunities around us.

We let what we possess, possess us instead.

Attachments can come in the form of…

• Our images and beliefs about ourselves and our identity
• Our beliefs about how life should be and about how others should be.

Non-hoarding:

To reject the concept of “MINE”

The EGO constructs our identity and can hold us hostage to our belongings. We think that we are our body, our mind, our thoughts, and our feelings.

Hoarding can come in the form of…

• Ideas and opinions

Whenever we come up with something that appears to be new and original, it is important to not boast about it and realize that we are just tapping into the knowledge that already exists.

• Power

Hoarding power is a distortion of the EGO and always leads to corruption and unethical behavior. Instead, one should listen to other people and act in a cooperative rather than a dictatorial manner.

• Money

Money is a strong tool that could be used to control the actions of others and ourselves- in good and bad ways. How are we receiving and using our money?

• Material things

As we accumulate stuff, more of our time is spent maintaining it, leaving less time for our own internal development. It doesn't help that we’re constantly bombarded with advertisements telling us that we need to buy all this stuff to make us feel whole.

• Conversations

Are you allowing others to speak and share their point of view, so they can feel that their voice matters; or are you the one dominating the conversation most of the time?

Concepts of Aparigraha:

• Our breath

What if we could trust life like we trust the breath?

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.

Our daily life situations bring us ease and enjoyment, just like the breath that gives us nourishment. But if we attach ourselves to circumstances, like the breath when it’s held for too long, the things that nourish us can become toxic as well.

We can never be contented if we keep finding ways to find some kind of permanence; when we resist acknowledging the truth:

That everything changes and nothing ever stays the same.

Experience full intimacy and contact with the moment, and then let go so the next best thing can come. Just like the breath, the more we exhale, the more room there is in our body for the fullness of the next inhalation.

• A trapeze artist

The practice of non-clinging is as free as swinging from bar to bar effortlessly, in perfect trust and perfect timing

Like the trapeze artist, are we willing to be suspended in mid-air in total trust of the timing and of a future that is greater than the one we are holding on to.

Misunderstandings about Aparigraha:

If we’re not attached, doesn’t mean we’re detached.

Non-attachment does not mean we don’t care. In fact, it frees us up to be immersed in appreciation of life and of one another.

We are asked to let go of the clinging of the thing, not the enjoyment of the thing itself.

Our attachments ruin our day when they aren’t fulfilled, makes us boring, and keep us blinded to all the opportunities around us.

Our expectations keep us captive and often disgruntled, and yet we choose our attachments rather than our freedom.

The journey of life is towards FREEDOM.

Practicing constant generosity and unfailing trust will keep our greed in check and keep us open to life’s unfolding.

A snippet of my own life:

I clung on to my experiences with food and exercise, to baking, to grocery shopping.

Examples of beliefs that I’ve attached myself to:

• I’m never good enough
• I need to eat 3 meals a day to fuel myself
• I need to eat in general because I’m a foodie
• I need to be thin and fit because I exercise so much
• I should make my money worth as much as I can (so I should eat as much as possible during buffets)
• If food is healthy I should eat as much as possible of it (resulting in overeating and feeling horrible about myself)
• Wasting food is bad and I like looking at a clean plate (which I still can’t fully let go hence the only way to work with this is to not order/make so much food in the first place and using smaller plates to plate my meals)

Examples of physical items that I was attached to:

• I couldn’t let go of the ingredients in my kitchen even if they were expired
• I couldn’t let go of some of the kitchen utensils that I rarely used

Why?

• I thought the variety of stuff makes me feel like I can be even more creative and stand out from other ‘chefs’ and be recognized.
• I thought that If I buy all these stuff too, I can share with people and make people like me, to acknowledge me. I love novelty and wanna provide new information to people. Articles related to food bombarded my email, making me feel that I should be more focused on this area If I’m spending so much time and effort on this. I felt that food was the only thing I could talk about that could add value to others.

I realized this became a huge problem when I ended up with the act of stealing/shoplifting to get these stuff so I don’t feel so bad as I don’t have to spend money and still be able to give to others. I thought that was the only way I could add value to others.

I was also afraid that what if one day I won’t be able to afford all of these foods anymore, and what if one day I cant enjoy all this anymore?

When I go out for ice cream, I’ll always get the double or triple scoop because I thought it way more worth it and I will enjoy it more. I won’t have to think: “Oh will it be better If I had chosen the other flavors instead If I only had one scoop?” But this often results in me feeling guilty for the amount I ate.

I think the remedy I found that works for me in this situation is to pick one flavor that I really like and just enjoy it knowing that I couldn’t have it all anyway so might as well just enjoy what I’ve chose.

Takeaways:

• The more stuff we have on the outside, the less time we have to go inside.
• The more we give to others, the more we receive on a deeper, subtler level.
• Have a mind that is open to everything but attached to nothing.
• What others do/don’t do should not affect you.

You always have the choice to let go.

Questions to reflect upon:

1. Notice what and when do you cling to expectations, experiences, emotions, thoughts, habits, and beliefs. How do you feel and how can you let go? What would be the hardest to let go for you?
2. Notice the physical things you’ve surrounded yourself with, how do they make you feel?
3. What are some ways you can reduce your consumption, or reuse or recycle what you have?
4. What are your thoughts on money?

Thanks for reading and hope it was helpful!

Related post: The importance of ‘Ahimsa’- Nonviolence and Compassion, ‘Satya’- Truthfulness; ‘Asteya’- Nonstealing; ‘Brahmacharya’- Non-excess

Also,

Check me out on Instagram: @thesunyogii and come join me for a free yoga session + discussion at the park (sorry, only in Kuala Lumpur for now! Message me for more details.)