Questions for deeper understanding

For others and for yourself

1. What has made you cry in recent times?

When somebody else cries

When I talk about my past sufferings

When I talk about my vulnerabilities

2. What was difficult in your childhood?

Constantly finding ways to stand out in order to fit in

Overshadowed by friends and my sister

Dealing with a KIASU society (pressure to achieve)

Getting close to boys

Disorder with food and exercise, unhealthy self-body image

Dealing with my allergies (daily runny nose, eczema)

Trying to be Christ-like without losing my sanity

– What do you regret?

Spending money on unfinished education platforms

Spending so much time and stress on food (what/where/when to eat)

Spending so much time on k-dramas/TV/comics

Not being able to recall much of my travel experiences when I was younger

– To whom would you like to go back and apologize?

To the people I’ve broken my promises with

To the people I’ve owed money to

To the people that I was passive-aggressive towards in order to get them to do the things I want them to do

– What would you want someone to forgive you for?

For breaking my promises

For being cranky or giving them bad energy

For not being honest with them from the start

– What have your exes not understood about you?

That I wasn’t being my true self with him, I was pressured to act a certain way, I thought the real me might turn him off

I dreaded having sex with him

– What would you ideally want to tell your mother? And your father?

• I’m afraid of the sufferings I will have to face If you both passed away
• I’m afraid of not being able to be independent without your support
• Probably that’s why I’m constantly worried about your health
• I’m scared of getting too attached to both of you, for the sufferings I will have to endure when you’re actually gone might be greater
• I admire how you can be so simple-minded but I don't really understand why I can't be the same
• I wish you can teach me more about investing or running a business so I can afford to sustain myself without relying on you so much
• I wish you would ask me more questions so I can find the answers I need that I constantly questioned about myself

– In what ways do you feel like a bit of an impostor at work?

• I’m not as capable and experienced as my colleagues to teach about strength training, flexibility, or mobility
• I’m don’t physically look the part compared to my colleagues

– How did your childhood leave you less than ideally equipped for life?

Wish I had practiced gymnastics instead of music or art as a way to express myself

Wish I had the guts to stand true to myself and my worth

Wish I had someone to guide me through understanding all aspects of romance rather than making it a taboo topic

– Which of your friends do you envy the most?

Perli? She’s popular but not a stuck up. She’s attractive yet humble. She creates good content that people admire.

Sara. She’s kind and amicable, everybody likes her. She doesn't try hard to stand out nor try hard to fit in. She is honest and non-passive aggressive.

– What do you worry about in the middle of the night?

How am I going to conduct my class the next day

How am I going to react to people at work the next day

– What kind of character trait that you don’t possess do you find attractive in others?

Happy go lucky, someone who is not paranoid about how they weigh or look

Ability to be confident in their own abilities

Ability to be focused and motivated to complete a particular task

– What do you look for in a very close friend?

Someone I can honest and REAL with

Someone who can take my bullshit

Someone who shares the same interest and values

– What too often goes wrong in conversation?

Awkward silences

When both parties disagree on everything

When one talks too much and the other is bored

– What kind of ideal extra sibling would you have wanted to have?

An older brother that I can learn more about how guys think, teach me sports/games, If he’s an A-type then how I can pick his attitude to achieve his goals

– Complete the sentence: When I start to like someone, I worry that…

They might not like me back the same way

They might not like me at all when they see the ‘dark’ side of me or the habit that I’m ashamed of myself, or when they disagree with my thoughts and beliefs

– Complete the sentence: If I was not so shy, I would…

Do more workshops

Ask questions relentlessly

Approach people that I admire and strike a conversation with them to promote myself

Ask for a guy’s number that I like

– Complete the sentence: If someone truly knew me, they would…

Understand how much I prioritize my sleep and “me” time

– In what respects are you still the same person you were as a child?

Unfocused

Energetic

Curious

– What would you like to change about yourself?

To have more self-control

To have more focus on the things I want in life

– In what ways is your family especially odd?

We’re not a traditional Chinese family. My dad's priorities travel more than schooling. My parents encouraged me to do whatever I want to pursue in terms of career. We played board games when we travel together.

– What are you prone to be addicted to?

Food and exercise

Planning and not doing

– What do you fear people might say about you behind your back?

Selfish, ignorant, stupid, immature

– List your top three worries in your life at the moment.

Future sufferings in terms of inability to afford my current lifestyle or maintain my health

Death of my family and loss of my privileges

Living my last day only to realize I’ve haven't fully lived

– What has been the role of money in your family?

Was a thing we lacked but now as a tool to do the things we enjoy doing