No amount of self-help material is going to help you

So stop wasting your time

“Common sense does not equate to common practice”- Jim Kwik

Throughout my entire life, I’ve read a lot of self-improvement content.

“How to be more productive”, “How to be own a morning routine”, “How to be an entrepreneur”, “How to live a happier life” etc.

By the end of each content, I feel conflicted with myself. I start to think about why I can’t develop all these amazing, wonderful habits like writing and exercising every day, even though I know I should.

“People know what to do, but they don’t do what they know”- Jim Kwik

Why?

• Because I think I can’t do it and If I do I wouldn’t be able to last in the long run, so I don’t even try.
• Because I’m afraid all my effort and time will be wasted as it probably won’t turn out to be “perfect”, or I won’t achieve the same results as these people who’ve done it and whom advocate their methods that have brought them their success.
• Because my brain is scattered with all kinds of thoughts that I can’t actually focus on the task on hand.

(Should I be spending all my hours here writing? BUT at the same time I read that I have to spend time with my family and friends in order to be happy. BUT If one day I get my book published I’ll be much happier. BUT I need to be out there connecting with people so that people will actually read my book. Gosh maybe writing isn’t even right for me, should I go into coding instead? But I never shown interested in coding! Hmm maybe If I work on it I will like it eventually…)

Like, WTF is balance anymore?

I don’t follow what they advice because essentially, I’m afraid of failure. I set high expectations for yourself that I probably think I’m not capable of achieving which makes me feel terrible.

But I continue engaging in these content so that the ‘One day I will do it’ thought I get from these will give me that temporary gratification.

Does it mean one should stop listening/reading all these materials?

Well not entirely (just don’t be so engrossed in it like I am).

If you’re ever like me, you realized that with all these knowledge you’ve obtained, you believe that it can benefit people and you want to share it with them so that they can be a better version of themselves. But you feel like a hypocrite because you don’t do it yourself.

And you wonder why is that the case?

You want to help them because you CARE for them, because you accept them regardless of who they are and what they do. Because you understand that people make mistakes and nobody is perfect.

So why are you so harsh on yourself? Why can’t you show the same understanding for yourself as you have for others?

Take the time to work on developing this one skill instead. Then, once you do, it’s much easier to put your knowledge into practice.

# Self-Compassion

• Stop comparing yourself with other. You aren’t here to live the life of another person, you’re here to do whatever life you can.
• Be proud of taking action in the first place, for being courageous to try something that might not work.
• And most importantly. You are worthy of good things and experiences. Accept yourself (flaws and all) and respect your experiences. Nobody belongs here more than you and vice versa. The reason you’re always reading all these self-help materials is because you feel you’re never good enough, but you don’t follow through because you think you don’t deserve the chance of success in the first place.

Its easier said than done (trust me I could relate), but If you want to make an effort to work on at least something (that doesn’t take time or $), I suggest working on this first before everything else.

It takes a lot of effort (you have to make a conscious effort to be more self-aware) without a doubt, but it’s the foundation for every success and self-help out there.

Once you’re compassionate with yourself, you’ll start to be more willing to take risk, to be able to look past from your mistakes and remove feelings of guilt. You’ll even start to develop better relationships because you’ll be more compassionate, even emphatic towards others too. You can connect on a deeper, more intrinsic level, and actually feel the emotions the other person is experiencing.

So start working on loving yourself today:)

Thanks for reading!

Tien Cin