How I deal with FOMO anxiety

Chances are people find you annoying for trying to butt in all the time

Fear of missing out or FOMO is “a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent”- Wikipedia

Or in layman terms, its the anxious feeling you get when you’re missing out on ‘bonding time’ with your social group.

According to Aristotle, we human beings are “social animals” and therefore naturally seek the companionship of others as part of their well being. So I don’t blame you If you feel the need to be mingling about with people.

However, I don’t know about you, but I have other priorities that I need to deal with; or there are days that I just want to do ‘my own thing’.

Although I’ll admit, sometimes conflicted thoughts creep up when I’m alone e.g. “you’re a loser and you’re gonna die alone because no one knows your existence…etc.”- I suppose that’s the FOMO effect; and here is how I deal with it:

1. “You don’t make the right decision, you can only make your decision right.” Whatever I decide to do in the end, whether its hanging out with my peers or staying at home; I accept the decision and make the best out of it. Why dwell and stress over what ‘could have been’ when i’m not even sure whether that would have been- the ‘better decision’ right?
2. Whenever I get the opportunity to be with someone, I give them my 100%. That means 100% of my attention, energy and focus so that I can develop meaningful connections and memories through that short time frame we have being together. (Ok maybe I still don’t give my 100%…perhaps 85%? And I blame technology for that (gotta post that insta story) but i’m aware and working on it at least!)
3. I choose what to say ‘YES’ to wisely. Do the people and activities align with my values, goals and interest? I often canceled out on invitations to clubs or late night drinking parties because I value my sleep and health; and I will only associate myself with people who understand the importance of these values to me. Hence I don’t go for everything that I’ve been invited to, but an invitation for a yoga session or ice cream social? -Sign me up!
4. I make an effort to stop scrolling (apps) and start livin’! Not only are these big time-wasters, they also augment the FOMO feeling as you spot your buddies posting about their ‘best time ever’ or ‘life-changing experience’ without you. I say ‘effort’, because it definitely takes willpower and conscious awareness to NOT press into the FB/Insta app and start screening through the newsfeed.Especially when i’m being lazy, but still want to feel that i’m doing something more productive than just sitting around not doing anything at all. (Although ‘doing nothing’ can be productive too- which I’ll talk more about in a different story!)

I’ll be lying If I say I’ve completely overcame FOMO anxiety, because I’m only human after all. But being mindful about it and not let it hinder the way I choose to live my life helps a lot.

And If I think a little deeper about the root cause for this feeling of anxiety- It’s not because I think I’m missing out on all the ‘fun’, because ‘fun’ to me can be activities that I can do alone like baking or yoga; but more so because I think that people will forget that I exist, or that I’m not contributing enough to my society, and that I’m going to be ‘forever alone’……

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”- Maya Angelou

So I suppose it’s not just about how much time you spend together with people, it’s also about how you carry yourself when you’re surrounded by people- are you empathetic, helpful, humble, generous…overall, nice?

“How you make others feel about themselves, says a lot about you.”- Unknown

Do you make someone feel better/inspired after they interact with you? Do you make an effort to keep in touch and make them feel like they are important in your life?

I do call my family and friends overseas, or I’ll message them online occasionally asking them how are they doing…

Which reminds me, it’s my friend’s birthday today, gonna wish her now before I forget!

Signing off! Thanks for reading!

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