Being an Asian Asian (no, it’s not a typo error)
The ‘real’ Asian life struggles
An Asian friend of mine was sharing the struggles he has being an Asian American.
Do you guys eat dogs and cats?
Why do you guys eat food served on leaves, can’t you afford a plate?
Shouldn’t you guys be smart, why can’t you answer this math question?
Gosh you guys have such a weird culture.
People question his knowledge, question his culture, and his upbringing.
So he wondered:
What is it like growing up Asian in NOT North America?
I told him this:
It’s equally as fucked up.
If you’re not talking about wanting to change some parts of your body via plastic surgery, you’re a self-conceited freak.
If you don’t strive to achieve perfection and seeking to be ahead of everyone else, you’re a loser.
If you don’t have a thigh gap or chicken arms you are FAT and LAZY.
If your skin is not pale white (like a ghost), you’re not feminine.
If you’re not doing something science/law/engineering-related you have no chance of success in your career.
And doing anything business or creative arts related=not smart enough.
If you don’t have medals hanging off your walls or displayed above your piano top (yes, you must own a piano), you’re not talented and you can’t do shit.
If you’re not president of some sort of club, you’re not a leader and you shall remain silent because your ideas and thoughts are trivial.
If you’re not volunteering for dozens of charity organizations, you’re selfish AF and not doing humanity a favour.
If you decided to do a gap year instead of going to college, you’ll be assumed to have lost all hope in life.
If you decide to seek help for mental health from a professional, you’ll be regarded as crazy and too weak to deal with your own problems.
If you’re not playing the piano or violin or any musical instruments…DISGRACE.
If you’re not in a relationship, you’re either not popular/attractive/talented…Essentially, Asian enough.
Well there is the saying that goes:
“The grass is not greener on the other side”
Understanding that we both have our struggles.
He deals with external racism and stereotypes and I get internal unrealistic standards. He deals with isolation from being different and I deal with the inability to be individualistic.
Heck, I bet even a white guy in North America has his struggles too.
Ultimately, knowing that everyone has their own shit to deal with in life (regardless of their colour and where they are from) and stop focusing on your own shit is what we have to do to be content with who we are and how we choose to deal with these circumstances.
Because one thing we have in common at least is that, we both are dealing with obstinate, imbecile people.
So are we going to be offended by their comment/criticism that hurts our ego and wanting to punch the person in the gut the next second due to rage?
Or do we choose to:
“Treat everyone with respect and kindness, even those that are rude to you; not because they are nice, but because you are.”
Seek to understand where they are coming from. The more you understand someone, the less you can be angry with them. Remind yourself that we are all equal beings. Be grateful that you are educated enough to know what is true to you and continue to work towards your ultimate goal. Be mindful of what you choose to absorb and take everything else with a grain of salt.
Because in the end, it’s your life to live and that’s all that matters.
With love and respect for all human race,
Tien Cin
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For more of my musings:
Who Am I ← P R E V I O U S
N E X T → The cost of constant pursuit for money and happiness